Life lately has been pretty good.  I am almost done with the horrid junior year, I have a wonderful best friend, and I feel closer to the lord than I have ever felt.  And I was very content in all of those things.  I had been walking around life lately being content.  According to the definition of being content is being satisfied with what one is or has and not wanting more or anything else.  That sounds nice, right?  And it can be.  But to be in my relationship with the lord and being satisfied right where I am in that walk is what didn’t sound quite right to me.

Last sunday at church during worship, God spoke a really cool reminder through Zach.  Zach talked about how, in our journey with Christ, it is so easy to get to that point where we get a little too content and a little too comfortable.  I think that until today I had become very comfortable in my Christianity.  I did the same routine every day: quiet time, pray, and then church on Sunday but it all had lost so much meaning.  The words that I worshiped with had become just that, words.  They were no longer the cry of surrender that they once had been.  I had been thinking about what Zach had said all week.  I asked God daily how to challenge myself in my faith and go one step further but at the same time, I was still living in a world of puppy dogs and lolly pops.  I still felt very comfortable. Until today, when God decided to slap me in the face with this message.

As I was leaving school today, I got in a car accident.  Everyone in front of me slammed on their breaks and I just didn’t slam fast enough.  So I plowed into the car in front of me.  After I made sure that I was okay, I looked at the front of my car and saw that I had demolished the whole front on the passenger’s side.  As I was driving into a random nearby parking lot to exchange information I was shaking.  And uncontrollably crying. (It was really quite a sight.)  The lady I hit was very nice and we exchanged information and I was able to drive my practically totaled car home.  Halfway home, I suddenly became at peace with the whole ordeal.  God had given me this huge wake up call that reminded me that to be comfortable in him during the happy times in my life is basically to forget all that he has done for me in the crap times.  Every day of my walk with Christ should bring a new challenge.  It should bring joy, peace, pain, hope, sorrow, and wonder.  Instead of being something that I am comfortable in, my relationship with God needs to be one of constant discovery and wonder.  It should never lose that sense of “wow, I serve this God..”

So tomorrow when I wake up I get to re-discover a God that I can never fully know.

I’m excited for that..

“Yesterday, this is not yesterday.

You were standing on my shoulders.

Now you’re standing on the edge.

You’ve been looking for a sign all this time.”

–“Don’t Get Comfortable” by Brandon Heath


called to love

May 17, 2008

As a Christian, probably one of the hardest concepts to grasp is the one that is second on the list of “what should make a christian.”  The concept that we, as warriors for god, are called to love everyone.  Not just that nice girl we work with or the pastor at church, but EVERYONE.  That is a huge thing.  In a world that is filled with a lot of deceit and hatred, that seems like an impossible request.  And although Christ says this is one out of two of the most important commandments (Matthew 22:36-40), Christians struggle with this one an awful lot.  We are called to, if nothing else, love god and love people.  The only two reasons why we are made: to love and to be loved by our father.  I have to remind myself daily that I am called to love people.  and not just people, but my enemies.

You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you. (Matthew 5:43)

That means when I hear someone else talking badly about me or when I have someone treat me like I don’t even exist, I have to love them.  No, I get to love them.  I get to show them the same love and grace that Christ showed me when he died for me on a cross.  I get to love them and turn to my daddy in heaven and say “Forgive them, Lord, for they know not what they do.”

There is a mission group called mission year and their motto is simply this:

“love god. love people. nothing else matters.”

And honestly, I couldn’t agree more.

let that be enough

May 8, 2008

There is a song by Switchfoot that I absolutely love.  The chorus lyrics are:

Let me know that you hear me.

Let me know your touch.

Let me know that you love me.

Let that be enough.

I love this song because it reminds me how little the things of this world matter.  Switchfoot was right on the money.  Our God is a big God who is listening to us, and reaching out to us, and, despite our tendency to be completely jacked up, loves us.  And that is enough.  That is all we need.  That blows my mind.

In an increasingly materialistic society where we are told that the most important thing in our life is self-success (in relationships, school, jobs, etc.), it’s nice to have that reminder that God is enough.  To have a reminder that these temporary highs that we seek as just that.  TEMPORARY.  And I am passionately in love with the one thing or person or anything else in this world that isn’t temporary.

I’m thankful for that constant.

Switchfoot – Let That Be Enough

Through the first years of many in my walk with Christ, I have been on many retreats, gone to camp numerous times, and heard many sermons (some good and some involving grown men dressing up plastic roman soldier armor).  One of the things that has been drilled into my head was the idea that I am a princess of the lord and I deserve only the best.

With great pleasure I accepted this.  Who doesn’t want to be a princess, right?  But through accepting this fact, nothing changed.  I still lived in the same house, had the same family, and most importantly, I still respected myself the exact same way that I already had.

Until recently.

My youth pastor spoke the other week on “the princess principle.”  It completely reiterated everything that I had previously believed (I deserve the best, I  am God’s daughter, that sort of stuff).  This time, however, the sermon shed some light on my current life.  Recently I had been struggling with getting over this guy.  I had been close to him for a while and had told him many things ultimately making myself stupidly vulnerable.  Well, as most guys commonly do, he came in my life and was gone before I could bat an eye.

I was slightly devastated.  But I kept on telling myself that it was okay.  This wasn’t the godly man that the lord had planned out for me.  I told myself this for several months, all the while looking for a godly man to fill this void.

Mistake.  God wanted to fill this void himself.  So I thought I would back up and give him some room to work.  But for some reason, every once in a while, thoughts of this guy who i relied so much in would come creeping back.

Last night I was just about to go to bed and I was praying and asking God why I couldn’t have this guy that I longed for.  I asked God to make him a Godly man and then bring him back and we would all like happily ever after and blah, blah, blah.

God responded to me almost immediately.  In my heart I just kind of heard him say, “no sweetie, he’s not right for my princess.”  And that’s when I remembered God for what he truly is: a concerned daddy.  Not a mean God who wants me to be as unhappy as possible.  Not a cruel God who takes pleasure in withholding my heart’s desires.  But a concerned daddy who wants what is best for me.

I need a reminder of that ever so often.