Lent Blog #1 (The Garden)

March 9, 2011

I am horrible at putting my feelings and thoughts into words. When I write, I have this need to sound completely eloquent, which is why more often than not, I choose not to write. Keeping up with a daily Lenten blog last year was a challenge, but it was entirely beneficial. There is something about writing things out that clarifies them. Sometimes, it is not until I reread what I wrote that I see what God was doing. And so, here I am, the first day of Lent, writing the first of forty daily entries.

Over the past several months, God has time and time again reminded me of his many roles. In particular, He is reminded me that He is a provider. About a year ago, when I was preparing for my trip to Brasil, I had a conversation with a good friend. I was telling him that everything completely came together for the trip in an unbelievable way. Funds were completely provided, blessings were given, and the thought of traveling to South America that I had once laughed at was happening. This good news sparked a conversation between the two of us about God as a provider. About how He has always been a provider.

Sometimes, I try to imagine what it was like to live in the Garden of Eden. I think of what Adam and Eve thought and did. When I look at my life today, my thoughts are filled with plans and to-do lists and worries. But what did it look like to not have any of that. To just be. It seems to me that everything we do in this life is always leading up to something. We work hard to get good grades growing up to that we can attend a good college. We try hard in college so that we will get our dream job. Once we have that job, we aim for the top and for more money. There is always something more to be gained, it seems. And somewhere along the way, we begin to think that we are the ones controlling this. We begin to think that we the providers.

But here’s the thing. Since Adam and Eve’s time in that Garden, God has not changed. We have. The same God who provided food and shelter and love in that Garden is still providing those things today. The same God who saw that a man wanted companionship and gave him a woman, is still in the business of giving.

I am in a season right now where I am semi-clueless of what lies ahead. I am excited and terrified and every plan that I once had has completely been thrown out the window. My checklist has been compromised and I am left in a place where I am daily having to ask for direction and guidance. But God is provider. I know that. He is just as eager to provide for me just as He was to provide for his first two children. I think I am going to try staying in The Garden for a little while. Asking and trusting.

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